Seven years ago this month, I wrote the following in my journal. Journalling is my therapy, and I advise everyone to try it. A blank page doesn’t argue, criticize, judge, talk back, interrupt, gossip, or try to control. Also, it’s virtually free. I prefer writing by hand, partly because I sometimes draw or scribble in the margins, but also because it frees me to pause and stare into space, without the constant whiny noise of studiously patient electronics.
My only rule is to be as honest as possible with myself.
Octtober 30, 2009–If even every quark* has consciousness and is immortal, as my disincarnate friend Seth (of the Jane Roberts’ “Seth Series” fame) says, each carries memories of having been part of Queen Elizabeth I’s body, or of the beggar on the street or of the tuna in the great blue sea. These were re-incarnational lives, so to speak. Each individual quark has joined others in multiple arrangements to form matter of different substances. The quark is so versatile that it is welcome in any neighborhood, presumably, unlike something like the silver atom, which has fewer opportunities for exploration. A quark can be part of a silver atom, but a silver atom cannot be part of a quark.
And so it goes. A quark sees the silver atom from a higher perspective, in a way, because it also knows what it’s like to be part of a gold atom. Carrying that memory into the silver atom also enhances that atom’s understanding of worlds outside itself. Each of the silver atom’s quarks, while joining with its fellow quarks in the grand structure of the atom, joins the consciousness of the group to a higher purpose. Individual quarks are free to come and go from the atom, because they are replaced effortlessly by other quarks looking for silver atom experience.
It may go to a quark bar and tell stories of its lives as part of larger gestalts.
“Did you like being part of a toad?”
“Not as much as being part of a neutron star. Being part of a magnolia blossom was nice, too, if you like that sort of thing.
“Don’t go near human beings, though, if you can help it. They are atomic bombs in the cosmic symphony.”
“So why are so many quarks making humans?”
“I figure it’s because there are so many quarks making television sets and computers.”
“I did that. When I was part of a silver atom, I was part of a computer circuit. It was hot. I got out of there real quick-like. Now I just want to float in space and be part of the great cosmic cell.
“Can’t blame you a bit, bud. If you’re only a quark, you don’t have to work very hard, because you are so replaceable.”
*Quarks are sub-atomic particles.